The “M” enterprise hardware capability

I’ve been working the last two weeks on an intensive (more chaos than actual progress) project for preparing technology demos for company A who is trying to sell a large amount of hardware, software and services to Organization B.

I am an employee of neither, instead I’ve been roped in as a subject matter expert for this nebulous project. During this project, I’ve seen a plethora of problems, none really to do with technology, mostly to do with people.

People not using or changing IP addresses they should know well enough to not mess with, people pulling servers and blades out of racks while someone sitting in another room is trying to use them, someone walking over to a server and yanking out hard drives from a powered on system (too many boot drives, go figure) and so on.

Thinking about what is going on gave me an idea. It is an idea with its roots in technology that mankind has had for a while now. I propose this here in the interest of opening it to the world before a single greedy entity patents it and locks this wonderful technology behind its own product line.

I speak of the “M” capability. Allow me to illustrate:

A simple mousetrap

Enterprise computer equipment should have an “M” option. This option would incorporate a mousetrap into the chassis of the hardware. Thus when a moron who has no business fiddling with a system touches it, the mousetrap would spring(ha!) into action and catch him redhanded (ha!).

Upgrades to the “M” line could be:

  1. “F” option – some carbon paper and scotch tape to take fingerprints
  2. “B” option – a large old fashioned bell that starts tolling when the mousetrap goes off

I expect the introduction of these devices would go a long way towards reversing the “do first, ask later” mantra that seems to be taking hold in these circles of late.

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