The Unhitable Tank

Last night my warlock on Illidan got high enough to queue for LFD and I started running some randoms. I had a fairly uneventful and smooth Wailing Caverns run. I then queued again and got Shadowfang Keep.

So we had a bear tank, a paladin healer, a hunter, a rogue and my warlock.

A round of hellos was exchanged and we got down to business.

From the very first pull, things seemed a little… strange. The very first trash pack… the tank ran to a mob, smacked it and then ran back to the healer. I didn’t think much of it. But then the second mob, up the stairs… he ran up, tagged it, ran over the railing and back to us. Odd… but we took the mob out no problem. This run in, tag, hit the mob and run back to group style of play went on and though as a dot caster I wasn’t too bothered, I could see the rogue getting a bit confused as he was trying to chase the mobs around as the tank bounced all over the room.

We got to Baron Ashbury. The tank perched on the banister, pulled him, got a hit or two in and then ran up the stairs to the upper level. This is the first time I’ve seen that boss tanked on both levels in that area. It was as if we were fighting the Baron with Beth’tilac’s mechanics. We got the boss down but it was close. Fortunately, as a dot class again I was able to keep most of my damage rolling on boss even with the ferret on speed tanking and boss movement. The rogue was starting to look really confused but hadn’t said anything yet. The hunter… he was on follow on the healer, not really doing anything. I also noticed that the hunter, paladin and bear were from the same guild. I asked if the hunter was a multibox toon and was told that no, he was just very new to the game. Fair enough, I dropped it at that. It’s SFK, carrying a new player is not a problem at all.

The boss dropped an int/stam cloth robe and I rolled “need” on it. So did the tank. I won the roll but was annoyed that the bear tank was rolling on caster cloth.

“Why would you roll need on int cloth?” I asked in party chat.

“So I don’t get one shot.” said the bear

“You need agi leather bro” said I, confused.

“Yes, I was going to trade this to you at the end of the run.” he replied.

At that point I inspected him… this is what he had on. His only item with stats was a 1H caster mace. 😀

Unhittable – for not the usual reasons!

Maybe I should have noticed that I as a warlock had the same amount of health he did in bear form. I don’t have a single BOA on this toon either!

So it started to dawn on me WHY he was hopping all over the place – he was trying to hold aggro but avoid getting hit. Very clever. But it would have been easier to get some quest agi gear!

We cleared to Baron Silverlane with one wipe. I’d switch to my Voidwalker to “offtank” some mobs but without BOAs, I’m not very strong either. We had one wipe in the kitchen outside the Baron’s dining hall. The paladin healer was a CHAMP – amazing healing, but she could only delay the inevitable.

Onwards to the Baron’s trash which we cleared with many acrobatics across the dining table from the bear. At this point, I was laughing out loud, this was just too funny. I wasn’t going to drop this group – I had a morbid curiosity as to how far we’d get and honestly, in the time of faceroll instances, this genuine challenge felt EPIC! We actually felt like the mobs and bosses were stronger than us and only as a group (such as it was) could we survive this.

I had a bad feeling about this boss. I’ve tanked him many a time and on an undergeared tank with an undergeared healer, I remember early in Cata heroics how the werewolves he summons could get… painful. So I had my voidwalker out, health funnel keybound and loins girded.

He tanked the Baron in a spectacular fashion – the good Baron got a workout chasing a ball of fur up and down the hall, over and under tables and round and around. The rogue seemed to be perpetually 15 yards behind the boss so it was a nice elastic train. It was quite the sight, me, the healer and hunter) standing on the table in the middle of the hall while this merry tableau played out around us.

We got the boss low enough for the werewolves to be summoned and… it wasn’t pretty. He couldn’t hold aggo on everything without you know… actually hitting them. And hitting all three at the same time meant all three were hitting him at the same time. He went splat. My void walker got aggro on something and… died. I soulburned, got another one out and … I died. The paladin died, the hunter died and the rogue died.

So the rogue spake thusly:

Our friend, the rogue, was a man of eloquence and few words.

The bear decided this wouldn’t work out and for us to hold on while he got some gear. He went off to the Auction House in Thunderbluff while we waited.

o dear

He came back a while later with some intellect cloth since it seemed it was all he could afford. Our bouncing antics continued, I think our bear got a piece or two of gear and things got better. Surprisingly we didn’t wipe again though miscellaneous people did die. We finished the run and honestly it is one of the most fun runs I’ve had in Shadowfang Keep!

Thank you Savetheday, Ryulol, Rtrainqt and Rickroll for a truly memorable and eventful run and for being good sports about it all.

May the loot RNG smile upon you and I honestly hope to run into you again someday! 😀

2 thoughts on “The Unhitable Tank

  1. Navimie

    That is a very amusing tale Thunder! LOL I really feel for that poor rogue, but the bear was hilarious trying to kite everything around to avoid getting hit.


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